Self-harm is not a choice, people self-harm as a coping mechanism, a way of dealing with difficult emotions and situations.

Families of children who self-harm may feel a great deal of pressure and guilt. They may feel like they should have been able to prevent it or that they are somehow responsible for their child’s behavior.

Remember that self-harm is not anyone’s fault and that it is not a sign of poor parenting.

If as a parent or carer you are talking to yourself in a blameful way, it’s worth considering how you would speak to a friend if they were in the same situation. You may discover it is far kinder than how you were talking to yourself and offer an alternative view of the situation.

Families may also feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to help their child. It’s important to remember that healing takes time and that it’s okay to reach out for help for you and them.

Many resources, such as therapy and support groups, can provide help and guidance. You can find carer support from the NHS Help or if you are concerned about a loved one and looking for help  Book a free 15-minute call with me.

It’s important for the family and friends of self-harmers to take care of themselves too.

It can be an extremely stressful and challenging thing to deal with, and it’s important for all involved to take care of their own mental and physical health, no matter how hard this may seem at the time.

Some ideas on how you can help yourself can include things like finding time for self-care, such as meditation 🧘🏼 a soak in the bath, or a walk in nature 🏕️

Seek support from friends and family, and look for professional help if needed. You may be surprised how much support you have if you are willing to open up and ask for it 🧡

Overall, it’s important for families to remember that self-harm is not a choice, and that healing takes time for everyone involved. It will not happen overnight but every small step in the right direction is a positive step to recovery.

Remember that healing is possible and that you and your family are not alone in this journey.

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